Boundaries

This is such a juicy topic, there will probably be a series of emails from me about this jewel in the crown of self-care. (Coach Hannah, here, bringing you a tasty morsel to nosh on for your Friday fun-nourishment.)

Today I want to harken back to my last email about setting a timer to help you get your workout done.

I got so many responses from y’all saying how helpful that email was--yay! So glad I could make doing the good stuff your body needs even a little bit easier.

It’s funny how a little external boundary, like a timer, can make a complex thing much simpler.

I think it has to do with feeling accountable to something outside of ourselves.

You ever notice that if you make a promise to yourself…

“I’m going to wake up early and go running every day this week!”

 ...it’s super easy to break it

“I’m so tired, I’ll just hit the snooze button ONE more time, and go running TOMORROW!”

 But if you make a promise to someone else…

“I booked an appointment at 6am with my personal trainer!”

...you make that shit happen like it’s your actual job?

**shows up to the gym at 5:45 to stretch before said personal training session**

WHY IS THAT???

Turns out most of us fall into one of 4 categories when it comes to meeting expectations:

  1. Upholder you do equally well meeting external or internal expectations

  2. Obliger you meet external expectations easily, but struggle to meet internal expectations

  3. Questioner you are skeptical AF until you get enough information to satisfy you, and then you can easily rise to meet internal or external expectations

  4. Rebel you avoid meeting internal OR external expectations with equal ferocity

For more on this, and a handy quiz to help you figure out which camp you belong to, check out Gretchen Rubin’s post about this phenomenon. I highly recommend taking the quiz even if you think you know which one you are--you might be surprised!


So what’s the point of all this?

If you know what kind of container you need to get things done (internal vs external expectations, more information, a rebel tamer, etc) you can then RESOURCE YOURSELF.

Self-knowledge is the jam, am I right?

If the scenario of running vs meeting a trainer sounds familiar, you are most likely an Obliger, and you need some external accountability to help you build new habits and get things done.

That’s cool! You’re in good company -- I’m an Obliger too.

It’s part of the reason being a coach works for me: I feel accountable to my students to be a leader who leads by example, and therefore I take better care of myself than I otherwise would because I know y’all are looking up to me.

So thanks for that!

Getting back to boundaries. When you want to make time for a new thing, you have to limit something else, which will mean saying “no” to something or someone so that you can say “yes” to yourself. This isn’t easy if it’s new practice.

Hell, it isn’t easy for me some days and I’ve been practicing it for a while now!

The more you know about yourself, and how you work best, the more power you have in your corner.

Keep digging, friends.

Yours in alchemy, 

Hannah