Allowing my natural curly hair to be… well, curly has been a powerful lesson in letting go of control.
Which is NOT my natural impulse. I like things better when they are controllable. Decide-on-able. When each element can be arranged just so. This is not possible with natural curls.
Thanks to the relationship with my mane, I’m realizing that “control” is an illusion, in most areas of life.
We like to think we can control our bodies.
I hear this notion most often with clients who have had chronic pain. They’ve worked out certain positions in which they can successfully not feel their pain, and mistake that to mean that the pain is gone.
OK, here’s what I do: I meet someone who wants to change their body, either functionally or aesthetically (actually most often it’s actually a complex, opaque amalgamation of the two). After determining where they are, physically-speaking, I decide how I can help them go where they want to go, and try to communicate that to them.
As such, I spend about half my time understanding where someone is currently--the industry term is “assessment”--and the other half thinking about what they can do to change (fit-biz term: “intervention”).
And then we get to work.
We talk, we laugh, we move, we cry, we sweat, we think, we make plans, and we abandon them. We shed the parts that don’t serve us, and we hone in on the stuff that works. Together we are actively creating change, as specific as possible to that person.